It Ends with Us: Intergenerational Trauma and the Path to Healing New

“The trauma you carry is not just yours; it is your family’s. To heal yourself is to heal the generations before and after you.”

— Dr. Gabor Maté

Intergenerational trauma is not just a concept—it’s a lived experience that shapes how we navigate the world. Research has shown that trauma can leave imprints on our DNA, altering how we respond to stress and how future generations do as well.

A groundbreaking study on Holocaust survivors revealed changes in stress-related genes, with these alterations passed down to their children. Even more startling, researchers suggest that the impact of trauma can extend as far back as eight generations, creating a deeply rooted legacy of emotional pain.

This isn’t just science; it’s a profound call to action. If trauma can be inherited, so can healing. Enter the transformative power of Internal Family Systems (IFS), a therapy that helps unravel the intricate web of inherited pain.

What is Intergenerational Trauma?

Intergenerational trauma refers to the transmission of trauma from one generation to the next. Unlike personal trauma, which stems from direct experiences, intergenerational trauma is often woven into the fabric of family dynamics.

Children of trauma survivors may carry emotional burdens they cannot name or understand. This silent legacy manifests in behaviours, beliefs, and even physical health issues.

Consider the idea that trauma can reach across eight generations. If each generation spans 25 years, this means that experiences from two centuries ago could influence your emotional responses today.

Think about historical events like slavery, colonisation, war, or famine. The unresolved grief and survival strategies of ancestors who endured these hardships may subtly shape the way you react to stress, form relationships, or view yourself.

Family dynamics often play a significant role in passing down these invisible wounds. For example, a parent who suppresses their emotions due to their own trauma may inadvertently teach their children that vulnerability is dangerous.

Similarly, a grandparent’s wartime suffering might manifest as chronic hypervigilance in a grandchild who’s never even heard the full story.

Recognising the Signs of Intergenerational Trauma

Before healing can begin, identifying the signs is crucial. Symptoms of intergenerational trauma often mirror those of personal trauma but are more deeply embedded in family systems. These might include:

• Persistent feelings of guilt or shame without a clear source.
• An overwhelming need to please others or maintain control.
• Emotional numbness or difficulty expressing feelings.
• Repetitive, self-sabotaging patterns in relationships.
• Chronic stress, anxiety, or depression.

These signs often coexist with a sense of puzzlement. Many people wonder, “Why do I feel this way when nothing major has happened to me?” This disconnection from the original source of the trauma underscores its inherited nature.

Examples of Trauma Passed Through Generations

The mechanisms behind intergenerational trauma are complex and multifaceted. Epigenetics demonstrates how trauma can influence gene expression, essentially “programming” our bodies to respond as if the original trauma is still happening.

Beyond genetics, trauma is transmitted through learned behaviours, unspoken family rules, and cultural narratives.

Imagine a family with a history of financial instability. A grandparent who struggled during a recession might develop a scarcity mindset, leading to hoarding behaviours or an intense fear of taking risks.

This attitude, passed down, might manifest in a grandchild as chronic anxiety about money, even if they have never experienced poverty themselves.

Another example is communities affected by systemic oppression. Families subjected to discrimination or violence may adopt coping mechanisms like emotional suppression or hyper-independence.

These behaviours, while adaptive in the original context, often become burdens that inhibit emotional connection and growth in future generations.

How Internal Family Systems Illuminates the Path to Healing

Internal Family Systems (IFS) provides a unique lens for understanding and addressing intergenerational trauma.

Developed by Dr. Richard C. Schwartz, IFS views the mind as a system of parts—distinct aspects of our personality that interact, sometimes harmoniously and sometimes in conflict. These parts are categorised into three main types: Exiles, Managers, and Firefighters.

• Exiles are wounded parts that carry the pain of past trauma.
• Managers attempt to keep Exiles from surfacing by maintaining control.
• Firefighters act impulsively to numb or distract from the pain when Exiles break through.

At the core of this system lies the Self, an innate resource characterised by compassion, curiosity, and calmness. IFS aims to help individuals connect with their Self to heal their parts.

When applied to intergenerational trauma, IFS takes this concept a step further. Often, Exiles carry the burdens not just of personal pain but of ancestral wounds.

For instance, a person struggling with unexplained feelings of scarcity might discover through IFS that this part is tied to a grandparent’s experience of poverty during wartime.

By unburdening these parts, the cycle of inherited trauma can be interrupted.

A Visualisation to Connect with Ancestral Pain

Visualisation exercises can help you explore and release the burdens of intergenerational trauma, even if you don’t know the specifics of your family history. Find a quiet, comfortable space to begin this practice:

1. Close your eyes and take several deep breaths, allowing your body to relax.

2. Imagine standing at the beginning of a long path. Along this path are eight generations of your ancestors, stretching into the distance.

3. Visualise each ancestor standing with their burdens. Notice their expressions, their postures, and the energy they carry.

4. As you walk down the path, approach each ancestor and silently thank them for the resilience and survival that brought you here today. Acknowledge their pain and let them know it is safe to release it.

5. Imagine yourself holding a light that grows brighter with each step. Share this light with your ancestors, symbolising healing and connection across generations.

6. When you reach the end of the path, turn back and see all your ancestors standing taller, lighter, and more at peace. Allow yourself to feel gratitude for the healing you’ve initiated.

Practical Steps to Begin Healing

Healing intergenerational trauma isn’t just about therapy sessions; it’s about creating a life that honours your journey. Here are some actionable steps to begin the process:

1. Acknowledge the Legacy
The first step in healing is recognising that your struggles might not originate entirely with you. Reflect on your family history. Were there significant traumatic events? Journaling can be a powerful way to document these connections.

2. Seek a Skilled IFS Practitioner
Working with an experienced therapist trained in Internal Family Systems can help you navigate the complexity of inherited trauma. They can guide you in identifying parts that carry generational burdens and assist in releasing them.

3. Cultivate Self-Compassion
A central tenet of IFS is the power of the Self. By practising mindfulness, meditation, or self-reflection, you can strengthen your connection to this compassionate, non-judgmental core.

4. Engage in Rituals of Release
Symbolic acts can be incredibly healing. For example, writing a letter to an ancestor expressing forgiveness or gratitude and then burning it can provide a sense of closure.

5. Break the Cycle
Consciously choose behaviours that foster emotional safety and resilience. This might mean setting boundaries, prioritising mental health, or fostering open communication in your family.

Why This Work Matters

Addressing intergenerational trauma is not just a gift to yourself but to future generations. By unburdening inherited pain, you create space for joy, connection, and growth. Imagine the ripple effects of breaking free from these cycles.

Your healing can inspire others in your family to begin their own journeys, transforming not just individual lives but entire family systems.

This work is particularly crucial in today’s world, where many people are experiencing heightened stress and disconnection. Understanding the impact of intergenerational trauma offers a roadmap for deeper relationships and greater inner peace.

Final Thoughts

Intergenerational trauma is a profound challenge, but it’s also an incredible opportunity for transformation. Internal Family Systems provides a compassionate, effective framework for addressing this hidden legacy.

Whether you’re a therapist, a client, or someone simply curious about their family’s emotional history, these insights can empower you to take meaningful steps toward healing.

Trauma will be passed down through the generations, until somebody has the courage to face it—and feel it. The journey won’t be easy, but it will be worth it. By facing the past with courage and compassion, you can pave the way for a brighter future—for yourself and those who come after you.